Too Blessed to Be Stressed
I cried at the drop of a hat. What would they think of my poor baby? He was 3 and it was getting worse! His eye was so crossed that he couldn't look me in the eyes. He looked past me, almost thru me. The same baby that would look in my eyes with such excitement and wonderment was looking inches to the left of where he should be looking. The doctors were calling it Esotropia. We were given glasses by our local optometrist, then eye patches, then bifocals to no avail. We were finally sent to a specialist at Arkansas Children's Hospital for a surgical consultation. Surgery! Surgery? I was freaked! They were wanting to cut my baby's eyes? Strabismus surgery. Ugh! I hated it! I couldn't sleep the night before our first visit to Children's. I had pleaded & begged to God that we would wake up & he would be healed. As we woke up it was clear that baby's eye was still definitely crossed. At 5 it hadn't corrected itself nor had God decided to heal him. So I put my big girl panties on, sucked it up & headed to Children's. 
I drove up to the hospital with a knot in my stomach, stress lines plastered my face, & anger flamed for even having to be there. I grabbed my kiddos (B & his then 2 year old brother) & rushed toward the entrance of the hospital. We didn't get more then 3 feet in the door before I saw her. A sweet girl around 11-13 but her tiny frame was wilted to the size of a 9 year old, her hair gone, her eyes weak. The sight took my breath away. My eyes met those of her mother who was pushing her in a metal & blue cloth wheelchair- it hit me- my stress, my problems are NOTHING! My child has a crossed eye, at worst he will lose eye sight in that eye but he will still be full of life. He will run, play sports, grow old... How ridiculous of me? I was distraught over something so minor, & here this woman stood with her precious child who was clinging to life. My perspective of it all changed right there in the entrance of Arkansas Children's Hospital.
We continued toward the welcome desk to our left and as I asked the woman for directions to the eye clinic I couldn't pull my attention away from those around me. There were so many sick children, so many families from different walks of life, so many needs. I prayed right there for strength because I felt the tears coming. I hurriedly walked down the hall & tried not to make eye contact. Hot tears rolled down my cheeks as I scanned the brightly colored pictures along each side of the hallway. Pictures painted by children that had stayed in rooms at the hospital, some who had never left until they took their final breaths.
I don't remember exactly how that first visit went, except that he had no depth perception, his brain was beginning to ignore that eye, it was clear he needed surgery, & would eventually get it. But I will never forget the gut wrenching REALITY that I am truly blessed. Sometimes we get so lost in the cloud of stress that we literally feel like we are the only ones going thru something, but if we look around, our problems are so minuscule compared to what they could be. I pray today that if you are living stressed, frazzled, worried, fried, or feeling like you're in a place of despair that God will show you how blessed you are. That you will see a new perspective. God has a beautiful way of calming the storm, of bringing light & joy into a stressful situation if you will allow it. I was asking Him to change things on my terms, in my time, but He needed to do a work in me first- to give me a new perspective.
- B now has beautiful eyes that see well & are straight. He looks at me in the eye, he has depth perception after only one surgery. And my eyes see a little better too because of it all, I now see that I am too blessed to be stressed!
Before surgery & right after!
This was a week post op! Hallelujah!
James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
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