Through someone else's eyes

Today I went to a water park with my boys. A friend snapped a pic of us in our swimsuits. I then uploaded it to Instagram like always- then to FB. An innocent enough share right? Or so it seems at the moment. Problem is, I started feeling guilty & deleted it a few hours later. This is not my first offense in the "forget that everyone doesn't see things like you" moment! In May we went to the beach (Josh, the boys, & I) & I posted a pic then too- & deleted it not even 12 hours later. I posted the pics out of the same mindset that I post any pictures- just an "oh let's capture the moment" mindset- not a "bikini pic" mindset. You see, as a teenager I struggled with deep body image issues. I would go days with so few calories I'm surprised I didn't faint. I would guzzle gallons of water & suck on a blow pop at lunch so I wouldn't be tempted to eat. I overcame all of those issues, thank The Lord! I see myself differently now, instead of hiding myself & being completely miserable with how I might look to others, I just put on that bathing suit & hop, skip, & jump right into the pool with my boys. You see, I left my body being an extension of my soul behind a long time ago. My body is a functioning, God given vessel- made to grow life, feed babies, & embrace my sweet children, to provide them with strong arms to squeeze them tight & legs to run & play with them. I just don't view my body as a visual image anymore but a machine, that needs to function properly in order to live a fulfilled life. I eat & exercise to make my life the best it can be. This has been an over 17 year process for me, I still have moments of confidence issues with my appearance (see blog from a few months ago), but as a woman, I'm fairly certain that ugly little insecurity will always pop up from time to time. 

So why delete the pics of me in a swimsuit then? I realized that just because seeing women/men in swimsuits doesn't effect me or tempt me at all, doesn't mean it doesn't effect someone else. I love seeing people's pictures- but not everyone sees things my way. I see absolutely nothing wrong with a bikini, but I've seen tons of FB posts, blogs, articles about how no woman/girl should wear one- ever. How it's not modest, or christian, or respectable. They see things differently than I do- & I'm glad! It sure would be boring if God gave us all the same eyes, to see things through the same colored lense. I have multiple reasons for why I'm ok with bikinis, ask me sometime & I'll tell you the main one- but for this post, we'll stick with the simple fact that I feel they are 100% A-OK. However, me being the sensitive nelly that I am, I realize that it offends some people, some of my friends who I respect to be precise- so that's one of the reasons I deleted the pics.

Second reason is because one woman pointed out that they don't want their husband seeing pics of women in bathing suits on FB. She pointed out that they have enough marital probs without him turning on FB & seeing other women. Never thought of it that way but I sure would hate to be someone's stumbling block. I don't struggle with jealousy or infidelity in my marriage so it never occurred to me- but again, just because my glasses aren't tinted to see it doesn't mean that other's aren't.

We don't know what demons others are struggling with- we don't know what glasses they wear, how they see things. I would hate to think that I ruined my witness because of a stupid bathing suit. If you know me well, you know that I love to hear people's views & where they come from/ a lot of mine come from my childhood & how I was raised- this view falls in that category. I'm one of those people that can embrace & respect all types of opinions, & I'm sorry if I offended anyone- or made someone think there were any ill intentions- to me, wearing a bikini is as natural as wearing shoes- but I'll keep my little hippie, free loving self off FB while wearing one from now on! 😉