Good Riddance 2013

Good Riddance 2013

Don't let the door hit ya on the way out!

    This year was full of downs.... A few ups, but mostly downs. I know, I know, I sound like a Debbie downer- but it's just the truth. One thing I've learned to be 100% factual this year is that lying to yourself and everyone else or pretending that everything is okay, just makes things that much worse. 

    This year started out fabulously. The hubs bought into his dads' company- something he's worked toward for 11 of our 12 years together. He started traveling- A LOT! He was gone every week in January. Every time he called I would say "we're great here!" "I've got it covered!" "Don't you worry about us!" Everything I had read, been taught or told by older, wiser women was to be supportive. They'd say he's got large responsibilities now and I shouldn't add any extra stress. Trying to keep that in mind is what set me on the completely wrong path! I needed him! We live in a town with no family around. We have great friends, but there's nothing like having family close to help when the chaos gets super chaos-y! Enter February: my then 5 year old got a raging case of the SHINGLES! Yep, you read that right! Long story short; he contracted chicken pox from the vaccine as a baby, once you've had the chicken pox the same virus can come back as shingles when it darn well pleases. Let me tell you, that stuff is the pits! That poor baby was a trooper- and I pretended to be too! I had it covered... Or so I said. By the end of February I had developed some wicked acid reflux and a new annoying habit of hyperventilating. 

    Let's get this straight before I go further, I DO love my life, my husband, & my kids and I know how blessed I am. Every morning I wake up in a cozy bed in a nice house with healthy children and plenty to eat. I thank God for everything he has given us. And that's all I'm supposed to say right?! I say- WRONG! Say what you feel while you're feeling it. Let it fly, let those feelings free because I PROMISE that holding them in is toxic. There's a chemical released into our bodies when we hold in our feelings- and that stuff is bad juju! Just let it out! That doesn't mean your problem will be solved but at least you won't have acid reflux & be hyperventilating every five minutes! Plus if you call those things forth they can be dealt with. Claim freedom from those things in Jesus name. Don't hoard them in your heart and pretend they don't exist- it's like they breed in there! They make babies- loud, screaming, crying babies. It's ugly- just don't do it! 

    Some of my friends and acquaintances will be shocked to read this post, I try to always be positive. But trying to be positive and actually being positive are two totally different things! I've always said "put your big girl panties on & get over it!" And it's true! You have to make the choice! It's up to you! And I refuse to continue on a path filled with shallow breaths & panic!

    The good news is- it's not permanent. You can overcome anything if you set your mind to it. I always tell my kids that being able to accomplish something is 95% in your mind. If you believe you can do it- you probably can! You also have to ask God to walk forward with you, to lead you, walk beside you, pick you up ... To be light unto your path and the lamp unto your feet. But ultimately- it's you who chooses which path you will travel on. For me, I had to find something to set my mind on. A goal. Something to step outside of my life as it existed. So...I decided to take on yoga. After about 2 months of regular yoga & stretching classes plus some strength work, I took a yoga challenge. For 30 days we were to try a new yoga pose each day & post it to Instagram. #yogaaday #yogaadaychallenge  after about the first two days I realized that it was so much more than just yoga. It was a change- a change in my life. It was a turning point and I was so thankful. I prayed for God to show me Hisself in each pose. And before long that's exactly what he did. I would get one word after taking a pic of each move. Before posting I would search for scriptures that were focused around that word. I would post the scriptures with my pics. It touched my soul so much! It may sound simple- but God can show up for us in the most surprising places. 

    The challenge is over, and 2013 will soon follow. As I reflect on this year I see so many blessings that I missed. So many that were overshadowed by my loneliness, negativity, and downright fake ness! I pray that 2014 brings life! Happiness, peace, & for God to show up in more surprising places than ever! That doesn't mean I won't still struggle, but I'll let you know when I am & I'll fight it tooth & nail! Goodbye 2013 & GOOD RIDDANCE! Hello a fantastic 2014!